Last year I shared prints of our words of the year. We had a family one, and each of us had a personal one. This year is no different.
Well actually it is. I don’t know if I am going to create prints for our words yet.
Alyson is still thinking about her word. Brad has his. And mine. Well mine is hard to share. This last year has beat me down. Personally. Emotionally. Brutally. Things I thought I knew, I found out were lies. Things I thought were lies, were truth. Things I thought I had, I didn’t. People I thought I knew, I didn’t. I really, really didn’t. And I am still stinging from last year. I had the hope beaten out of me. I didn’t shed a tear at midnight on the 31st. If I had been a drinking person I probably would have toasted it by getting toasted. It was that bad of a year. Sure some good things happened. But lots of scary, bad things happened, and I let them out weigh the good. I didn’t let the good shine. And I wish I had. I wish I could go back redo things, but ya know, hindsight and all that.
So this year things are going to be different. Not because I am going to make it different, but because God is going to. I am going to let go of me. More of Him, less of me. My word for this year is HOPE.
It’s hard for me to share about personal things. Because I like to keep things close to the vest. At least on the internet. But truthfully? I think I need to let this out. It’s been dragging me to the bottom of the pit, and I am tired of feeling empty. Tired of feeling like there is nothing waiting for me out there because everything turns bad for us. So I am letting go of the pessimism. Or at least I am attempting to and trying to let God take that part for me.
“The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
As for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
So God: Here ya go. My life. My fears. My doubts. My pain. My hurts. My ugly attitudes. My lack of joy and peace. I give it to you. Fill my heart where you take these from. Help me to shine like you Lord. I want to be filled with HOPE and with joy, and with peace. I want to so radiate you Father, that people notice it.
Thank you for last year Jesus. If for no other reason than I lean on you more this year: Thank you.